Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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