i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
