You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
