How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
