He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
