I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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