He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
