We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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