We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
