so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I need a burrito and a hug.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The power of my boobs compel you
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
