my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
