the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
