my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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