Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
