Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
