Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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