I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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