"it" just moved
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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