I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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