i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
