I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
