Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize