i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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