I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
love makes seman taste better
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
