I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
