? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
