why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
