How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
