Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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