He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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