whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
