Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
