PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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