How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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