just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
