All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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