im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
