You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
