More tranny stories later!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
