I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
