Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just forgot I was standing up.
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