Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize