My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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