I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
