dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
