Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
