Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize