I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
