We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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