he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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