belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
so much tequila, so little girl.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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