you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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