And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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