I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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