saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
