Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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