I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
