Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
