hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
