I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
