I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
