I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
