Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
