You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
