She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
